Lessons from a broken heart.

2 min readOct 8, 2022

When my heart was shattered over a relationship years ago, and I was filled with burning agony over losing the One That Meant So Much, here’s what my best friend told me:

‘If she really is The One, nothing in the world will be able to keep you apart, and you can rest assured that it will be taken care of by life itself.’

Back then this felt incredibly soothing and comforting.

What I realized was that it wasn’t up to me anyway.

Or us.

My despair had been about losing perspective, obviously, and he brought it back by telling me we don’t know, ever, so we might just as well relax.

The hopelessness was a very personal thing, the result of not seeing what I could do to get her back, and realizing that it wasn’t my responsibility or doing anyway, made it a lot more bearable.

Today I was reminded of that situation, and it dawned on me how radically true this notion actually is.

Sometimes I ask my clients: ‘How would life change for you if you knew that you can never do anything wrong?’

It’s an intriguing idea, and it almost always lifts them up.

Hidden in this simple reflection is a primal truth, a deep knowing that can arise and touch us in profound ways.

Sure, not being responsible, at all, can sound terribly frightening.

But it can also be extremely liberating.

Of course, my heartache has been long gone, the woman I’m referring to married some other bloke not long after we broke up, but the power of that simple question keeps resonating.

Let me tell you why.

If you’re the One that’s supposed to save the world by cracking a divine riddle or finding a solution for a universal challenge, you couldn’t get away from that even if you tried.

It would happen no matter what.

Just like everything else.


Doesn’t that make you fall in love with life even more?

(Photo by @xpipzzyx, for Unsplash)


Marnix Pauwels. Author. Transformative Coach. Slowly getting to the place he never left. Exploring awe. How about simplicity?