Promising infinite success.

2 min readDec 23, 2022

I have no idea how those coaches and other pros do it.

The promises.

The tantalizing suggestions.

‘Your best life ever!’

‘10K a month doing what you love, guaranteed!’

‘Stop [stuff you want to quit] forever and discover your true power!’

‘Have [stuff you really want but never have] as much as you want!’

If I look back at thousands of coaching conversations and the results, I couldn’t promise a single thing.

Not even being present, because I haven’t always been, and I probably won’t be, always.

Today I realized how fed up I am with the superlative screaming.

I’m not saying it’s bad: it just fucking annoys me.

Could it be that I am secretly afraid I can’t live up to expectations and use this new resistance as a way to deal with that (or to NOT deal with that)?

I don’t know.


Maybe partially.

It’s just that it feels out of integrity to me to make any promises, even though I did that for a looooooong time.

I simply don’t know what happens after our conversations, although stuff usually gets lighter and brighter and more colorful and more real.

I don’t even know what I’ll have for lunch (30 minutes from now), or whether I feel furious or fun-filled or fucked up in 5 minutes.

And why are we advertising YOUR BEST LIFE EVER!!! all the time?

Is that really a promise, or is it just fashionable?

Is that a guaranteed result, or something that touches our deepest insecurity and the part where our dreams live, the part we don’t really trust?

What does it actually mean to live YOUR BEST LIFE EVER?

Do people even reflect on that stuff when they post it or is it simply a must, a requirement, or a non-negotiable part of the selling process at this particular time in history?

Do we go there because everybody does, and because everybody seems to do better than we do?

And where will it end?

Should we promise success and glamour and fulfillment and abundance and great sex throughout all the future incarnations too, until the end of the endless universe?


Maybe that’s what you want, and if that’s true, I hope you get it.

And maybe you’re fucking tired of all the wanting, the measuring, the expecting, and the promising.

I know I am.

Let me know if and when you’d like to talk about it.

(Photo by @joshuaearle, for Unsplash)




Marnix Pauwels. Author. Transformative Coach. Slowly getting to the place he never left. Exploring awe. How about simplicity?