Do nothing.

It’s an idea that derives from various spiritual and religious philosophies.

And it absolutely fucks up the Western mind.

How do you do nothing?

Where do you start?

How much nothing do you do while doing nothing?

Well, it’s a fairly subtle thing.

It’s not about freezing in time, sitting on the couch like an immovable sack of meat, becoming completely motionless.

It’s not a passive thing.

‘Doing nothing’ in a spiritual sense comes down to trust and surrender.

It’s about deeply realizing that life by itself moves you, and it’s not your responsibility to take control and try to…


‘Yeah, if only life was so simple!’, people often say to me.

I hear it whenever I talk or write about spirituality and the human experience and other yummy abstract stuff like that.

It’s like I’m criticized for my naivety, my lack of judgment and morality, or the seemingly stupid unwillingness to acknowledge the evil things that happen in the world.

But here’s how I see it:

Life IS utterly simple.

And it is also not.

It’s both.

It is simple because it is just life.

AND it is extravagantly complex and hard and devastating and unfair and harsh because we have minds that constantly tell us it is, and make us…


(Photo by @freestocks, for Unsplash)

To my big surprise, I have become a giver.

It took me over 50 years to slip into the habit it of it, but now, after my life started to change radically around 7 years ago, I can truly say I give a lot.

Giving is a funny thing.

The ego both loves it and hates it with a vengeance.

The ego adores giving because of its (perceived) altruistic nature.

Giving feels good in a Gandhi kind of holy way.

It has a spiritual vibe about it -and it might even build you some good karma!

But on the other hand, there’s this deep distrust when it comes to…


(Photo by @cris_trung, for Unsplash)

When you know you’re alive, you have everything you need to know.

That’s all.

Being awake is just that:

The simple, basic knowing of aliveness.

A delicate energetic hum.

So sweet, so obvious.

And SO powerful that it doesn’t need to prove its existence.

Closer than close.

Here.

Now.

… and then you are swept away by experience again.

The perfect agony.

Bullshit fucks up your bliss.

Eternal simplicity gets obscured by the chattering mind.

And the searching starts all over again.

For security, for stillness, for happiness, for the end of sorrow and worry.

The hope that one day this pure, direct connection will be all there is and last forever…


(Photo by @kevinhansenfoto, for Unsplash)

When I closed my eyes for a couple of minutes to do a haphazard meditation (I don’t meditate, normally) while listening to a guy in a YouTube-video, I once again realized how much thinking we have going on.

It’s incessant.

Like a slideshow from hell.

I saw one image after the other, all trying to look seriously relevant and important.

I saw an image of a woman.

Then a doubt.

A critical remark.

A scene from a holiday.

Another doubt.

Some food.

A picture of my dad.

A well-rehearsed doubt.

A confusing idea.

A suggestion to stop it.

And one more burning, itching opinion.

All within less than a minute.

It looked like as soon I dismissed one, the small self or whatever creates these random mental ideas, tried something new.

‘Shit, this one doesn’t work, let’s radically…


(Photo by @nynnes, for Unsplash)

This is what happens sometimes:

I write blogs or poems and post them on social platforms.

I record videos and share them online.

I invite people to spend some time with me, for free.

I invest a lot of my time and energy and imagination in stuff that I just give away.

And then I get pissed off… when I don’t get ‘enough’ response.

Ungrateful bastards!

Isn’t that amazing (and a bit embarrassing, too), how we can become victims of almost everything, how we expect people to be acutely aware of our hidden agendas?

It’s like blaming someone on the other side of the world…


(Photo by @anmolium, for Unsplash)

There are many things I don’t like, and that’s fine.

I hardly have any problems with my simple human preferences and opinions, the things that show up in daily life when you get to interact with other people and food and gadgets and music and films and cars and other stuff like that.

These personal filters are exactly what flavors the unique action figure I get to be, and they serve as a specific way the universe can experience itself.

I don’t like ginger, for instance, but I don’t feel the need to overcome this particular omission, and there are thousands of other things like that that don’t bother me…


(Photo by @mroz, for Unsplash)

For a long time I didn’t feel like a real man.

I wasn’t really sure what being a real man was supposed to feel like, but the very insecure and clumsy state of mind I was in most of the time just didn’t seem very masculine.

A real man was the guy that was portrayed in Playboy Magazine.

He had a real man watch, a real man car, smoked real man cigars, drank real man whisky, and fucked real men women.

I didn’t do any of these things.

A real man was both sophisticated and arrogant, he was funny and smart and had a lot of money, and he didn’t give…


(Photo by @thomaskinto, for Unsplash)

‘You already have everything you need.’

Or

‘You don’t have to find yourself, because it is who you are.’

Or

‘Trying to find happiness is the only thing that gets in the way of being happy.’

I’m sure you know those quotes.

And, like me, you’ve probably tasted them on your lips many times, read them out loud, tried to understand them or act on them, and found that they didn’t do anything for you.

‘You already have everything you need’ just doesn’t sound true when you go bankrupt or your spouse decides to get out of your life.

‘You don’t have to find yourself, because…

MarnixAmsterdam©

Marnix Pauwels. Schrijver. Expert verslaving/angst/depressie. Transformative Coach. Helpt mensen ‘n briljant leven voor zichzelf te ontdekken. Onderweg.

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